Here are some horrible inappropriate songs to kick off your weekend! Don't believe me? Ask a 7 year old to sing them .. I've never really been one to censor my music. I don't necessarily listen to anything crazy in the first place, so there wouldn't really be much to censor. Or so I thought Sami and I are not known for our subtlety and are known to bust out into song in the car. Since we live a good distance from the nearest town with a stop light, we're in the car a lot.
Yes, I'm the crazy girl singing and dancing in the car next to you
Until last week. When I for once listened to the lyrics of the songs Sami was singing.
Nothing like your 7 year old singing along to Prince!
Nothing wrong with that, right? ...right?
Listen closely there....
This is it, it's time for you to go to the wire
You will hit 'cause you got the burnin' desire It's your time, you got the horn so why don't you blow it?You are fine, you're filthy cute and baby you know it
Cream, get on topCream, you will copCream, don't you stopCream, sha boogie bop
I am a horrible mother... So I switch the next song. Oh look! Broadway!!! That can't be bad. She can sing Showtunes at school! Right??
...right??
Everyone's a little bit racist
Sometimes.
Doesn't mean we go
Around committing hate crimes.
Look around and you will find
No one's really color blind.
Maybe it's a fact
We all should face
Everyone makes judgments
Based on race.
Oh sweet mother of God. NEXTTT NEXT!!!
Go and fix your make up, girl, it’s just a break up Run and hide your crazy and start actin’ like a lady 'Cause I raised you better, gotta keep it together Even when you fall apart But this ain’t my mama’s broken heart
Wish I could be just a little less dramatic Like a Kennedy when Camelot went down in flames Leave it to me to be holdin’ the matches When the fire trucks show up and there’s nobody else to blame
Can’t get revenge and keep a spotless reputation Sometimes revenge's just a choice you gotta make My mama came from a softer generation Where you get a grip and bite your lip just to save a little face
Well that's not too bad...That's almost cute! That's right, Sami! Rock on!
then I glance back...
Dear god she has the facial expressions to match.
I should apologize now for any future romantic interest she has. Word of Warning..Just don't break her heart. She may very well break your spine. .
Ok, maybe I should just turn the radio on. The radio is safe. What crazy stuff can the radio be up to?
Oh Justin Timberlake! Yes. This is safe.
Dirty babeYou see these shackles? Baby, I'm your slaveI'll let you whip me if I misbehaveIt's just that no one makes me feel this way Until we get to dance class and she starts singing and dancing. Oh myyyyy.
And my stomach drops. As my baby brother attends Santa Monica College and the last time he spoke he mentioned finals. . .
So I do what any normal crazy person does and checked his FB to see if he had updated to say "Yo I'm good!"
Which he hadn't. (Note to self: Remind brother that he has a million ways to communicate with me that he is in fact not dead and to use them or else he will be. Seriously. We have texting, Skype, FB, Twitter, PHONES, smoke signals the works)
So I text him. And start looking at flights to LAX because I'm not prone to overreaction or anything like that.
I text my mother and probably shave a good 10 years off her life as I simply say "There was a shooting at Jason's college. I know he had a final on campus today. But I can't get ahold of him. Have you?"
I'm not known to sugar coat things I guess.
I finally hear back from him and we have a strange interaction about his final. (Because only my brother would be worried about his final when his school is on lockdown because of an alleged shooting spree. Sign of the times or sign of my brother's quirkiness?)
After my heart stops racing and my bank account breathes a sigh of relief. I run to the commissary for groceries. As that's the thing to do on a Friday night in the summer.
Saturday:
Saturday I woke up with the beginning shadows of a cluster headache. Knowing I will be of no use to anyone once it hits and will in fact be a blubbering mess, I put on clean pajamas, close the blinds, add blankets and pillows to the sofa, stock the table with everything I need and Sami and I curl up for a day on the sofa with Doctor Who and cuddles.
Sunday:
Sunday I felt much better and decided to get out of the house for a bit.
I promise I'm not naked.And excuse the lack of make up :S
Sami and I grabbed brunch at Tally's Silverspoon an awesome little restaurant in downtown Rapid City. Since it was not the usual Hurricane force winds outside, we chose to sit on the sidewalk seating and eat. It was an awesome meal and it's definitely one of my favorite places in Rapid City.
I also took the time to lament the lack of sun on my shoulders. Irish heritage represent!
After brunch, we walked around downtown. Well, as much walking around as you can do on a Sunday in a town everything is closed on Sundays. I may dislike a lot about this station, but I do have to admit that downtown Rapid City is gorgeous. Not much architecturally wise has changed in years so it has a very nice retro feel to it. We walked around the streets and Art Alley for a bit before winding up back at Main Street square. Where I stopped in my favorite local bookstore Mitzi's.
They didn't have the book I was looking for so I settled on "Revenge wears Prada: The Devil Returns" by Lauren Weisberger and some new tea.
We swung by Who's Toy Store which is one of Sami's favorite places in the world (Cause they encourage you to play with everything)
And of course we had fun with the carnival mirrors
OMG I'm tall AND skinny!
One more stop at Dakota Thyme for a French baguette (Cause they cook crack into them, they're that good) and we decide its time to leave.
Since I was feeling indulgent, we stopped and got Sami an ice cream cone. Cause that's what you do when you're buttering up your 7 year old!
The rest of the afternoon was quiet. Sami worked on her Summer Learning program and played and I curled up in the chair with this
mmmm carbs.
(When I posted this on Twitter, I got a few questions about the red thing. I thought it was self explanatory but it's a tea cup with a lid. The handle is just turned towards the back.)
I finished the book that evening and Sami and I made sandwiches for dinner and watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.
Definitely one of my favorite ways to spend the evening!
"Respect yourself enough to walk away from anyone or anything
that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy."
Pretty brutal, huh? At first glance it seems to be one of the most self centered pieces of advice. But the more I think about it, the more the truth in it is apparent. Every person you meet is a lesson. A lesson in humility, kindness, pain and happiness. Some of those grow you as a person. A tumultuous relationship grows you. It shows you what you will and will not accept. It shows you what you are capable of. It shows you the worst in life and the best. But once it no longer teaches you and only drags you down. You have to learn the final and hardest lesson. To love yourself enough to walk away.
I've been thinking about friendship a lot lately. Those that know me, know that I'm not a person with a huge amount of close friends. I'm a friendly person for the most part. But I keep a very small group of close friends. This is on purpose. When I'm in a friendship, I give it my all. I rarely do things by halves.
This also means I invest deeply in my friendships. If I'm close to a person, it takes a lot for me to sever the friendship completely. Because to me, it's akin to severing myself. My friends are my family. I love and respect my friends more than most of my family. Because the relationships are healthier, they are more open and loving and there is more support and respect.
One of my closest friend is a man that I met through my ex. We remained friends after the split and have built a strong friendship. I count him and his wife as my family. He knows me better than most people and still values me. He wants nothing from me but my friendship. We fight. He annoys the shit out of at least once a month or so. (And boy, do I annoy the crap out of him!) But there is respect. There is trust and there is no competition. We celebrate each other's triumphs and we mourn each others losses. I know that no matter what happens to me, he will be there and visa versa. I base my ideals of friendship off of my friendship with him. And I strive to be as deserving of his friendship as I can.
Last year I made the choice to sever a close friendship. It was one of the hardest things I did last year, and if you were around at any point last year, you know how big that was. Since last year was one of the darkest in my life.
I didn't make the choice lightly. It was several months coming. J wasn't a bad person. But her life was so dramatic, so full of strife, that I knew if I stayed in the friendship, it would cause me emotional and mental harm.
We were neighbors. We met while our spouses were deployed together and neither of us worked at the time. I've become quite the homebody lately. I enjoy my solitude and function well alone. She would make sure to pull me out of the house. We would go to Target, we would grab dinner, it started out very nice. We have many good memories that I will cherish. However, over the next couple of years we drifted apart. I went back to work and we both eventually moved to new houses. Our spouses deployed on the same rotation again, with my husband leaving earlier than hers. The day her husband left, she came over and our friendship seemed to take off again. I was working full time, my daughter was in school, and she had started college. We hung out, we talked and texted. It was nice.
She began an extramarital affair soon after her husband deployed. I knew of it, I met the guy and I tried to be supportive as I knew she was confused and I've made bad choices in the past and needed my friends more than anything at that point. I wouldn't say this was the beginning of the end. But I do know that it definitely fractured things. Since we first became friends she had said (possibly in a joking manner) that I was a bad friend. That my marriage was wrong because my husband let me do what I wanted and that he worshipped the ground I walked on. Many times she said he was a pushover. (Which, he really isn't. He just respects me) I brushed it off. I knew her marriage wasn't great so I didn't really like rubbing mine in. I knew she was joking for the most part, but I also knew there was an undercurrent of malice in her words. After she introduced me to The Guy, she started in on snide off handed comments about my appearance. While out at dinner one night, the manager of the restaurant was being friendly with me. Nothing inappropriate, but joking around and being friendly. She commented in a way that really made me stop. She turned to him and said "Yeah, she's skinny but she has a huge ass don't you think?" It struck me as very hateful and competitive. Why would a friend say something like that? Why did it matter what I looked like? Was she trying to compete for this stranger's attention? I was simply being friendly to the guy. But the look in her eyes was something I did not like. Once I had gone over to her house for a sleepover. The next day, she spent the entire day in her bedroom with The Guy while I cared for her child.
Her relationship with The Guy ended not long afterwards. Our spouses were set to return shortly as it was. I talked to The Guy randomly and got both sides of the break up and realized that she had told us drastically different stories of her husband. While I had asked several times if he was physically abusive, she said no, and that he was just an ass with a temper. She had told The Guy that he was physically abusive.
Sometime after the breakup of the affair, she had told The Guy that he was no longer allowed to speak to me. (I'm not sure why. I had Zero interest in the kid, but she felt threatened somehow) That became the end of our friendship. When I looked back and realized the friendship had solely been about her for a while. Her affair, her issues, her life. There was never any balance. It was emotionally draining, I was emotionally drained by her issues and they began to negatively affect my work and personal life. I looked back and could not think of the last time she had said a nice thing to me or inquired about my life. It had been months. I knew hanging on to the friendship would only drag me down.
Was it selfish? Yes. It was. I abandoned a friend I genuinely cared about when she needed friends the most.
Do I regret it? No. When I made the decision to sever the friendship, I felt relief. I no longer had someone telling me how horrible of a friend I was. I no longer had to stress about the next ball of drama exploding in my lap. I still care for her. I hope she is well. I know she recently had a child. I am pretty sure by her husband. I do not know if she ever told him of her affair. I seriously doubt it. But that was her choice. I hope her life is more figured out. I hope she is in a better place. I love her and her daughter A. But I could no longer stay. It was quickly becoming toxic. I worry about her. I worry about her child as I saw things that concerned me. But I had to let go. I had to respect myself enough to walk away from an unhealthy situation. And for that, I am saddened. I wish I could have stayed. I wish I could have been stronger. I let the friendship die. I could have spoken up sooner. But I didn't and that I will always regret.
I miss her. I miss our friendship in the early days and months. She is a sweet girl. But I was not the friend she needed. Nor was she what I needed in the end.
I have another friend that I worry is heading that way. And it pains me that it's getting to that point. But I have to ask myself if its mutually beneficial. Or am I simply giving and giving and draining myself. Can I truly be a good friend when it is so one sided? I know this person truly cares for me and loves me. And I wouldn't sever the relationship as completely as I did with J. But I've lost too many tears over trying to figure out how to make this work. I only have so much of myself to give.
Want to know what will keep you from blogging? Life.
Between major shake ups and changes (And stress) at work, to increased responsibilities in my volunteer work, and Nate being gone, I've barely had a chance to breathe.
Fact: My Christmas tree is down. However it is in the storage bag in my living room still. I finally got it put up!
For some reason this separation has been more stressful than the others. I've been super busy at work, and that hasn't really given me a chance to get into a clear cut system down like I'd want to.
Sami has had a rough year emotionally. I'm hoping we can get her off her meds soon to see if that will give her a better grasp on her emotions.
Needless to say, she (and I) both deserve a break. I've not had a vacation since Dragon*Con in September, and that wasn't really much of a break.
A couple weeks ago, I was at work thinking up ideas to celebrate her birthday. I really didn't want to throw another party. Last year she loved her birthday party, but it was exhausting planning and putting together and I really didn't feel like I got to really enjoy it.
My friend Elizabeth and I had been discussing meeting for months. We were going to meet up in Colorado when she was there for a camping trip, but for some reason it didn't pan out.
We tried meeting up when I was down in Georgia for Dragon*Con, but again something came up and I was busy with the con so it didn't happen.
I had thought about having her come visit. But then I remembered that I live in South Dakota and that's just not the ideal vacation spot.
So I decided to plan a vacation around Sami's birthday.
We're going to fly into Tampa International and stay with Elizabeth for the weekend. Hit up the beach, shop and just relax.
I get to finally meet this girl:
Photo courtesy: Elizabeth Parrish
(Yes, you can hate her gorgeous face.)
AND
Visit this (Im not even sure this is anywhere near her place)
Photo courtesy: Elizabeth Parrish
WAVES. REAL WAVES
Photo courtesy: Elizabeth Parrish
Do you see that white stuff?? It's SAND. Sami's never played in real sand.
Photo courtesy: Elizabeth Parrish
The Birds!! These birds are awesome!!! I don't even know what they are but they are awesome and I want to see them.
Photo Courtesy: Elizabeth Parrish
That's the Gulf!
Here's a peek into our friendship. Aren't we cool??
Then, on Sunday, we're getting up super early to drive in to Orlando.
I chose not to stay at Shades of Green for several reasons. (Shades of Green is an Armed Forces Recreation Center on Disney property. It is open to Armed Forces and their families, Retired Armed Service members, and Dept of Defense employees and some other government agencies) While a Disney property, with most of the amenities of a Disney resort, it doesn't offer the Disney Dining Plan and it doesn't have as much Disney theming. However, it is a very nice resort and I would recommend it to any of my military followers. It's incredibly inexpensive.
Since it is just me and Sami going, I didn't do a Disney Vacation Club stay either.
People book their stays months and months in advance, so I was at a disadvantage there. They were already filling up. So my first choice of Art of Animation a Value level Resort was booked for the dates of our trip. I also was hesitant because Art of Animation is EXTREMELY themed. I'm talking Ariel shower curtains and carpet and a 60 ft tall Ariel on the side of the building. A bit extreme for my taste. And this trip is for both of us.
However, the quote I got for the Value resort was much lower than I had budgeted, so I asked about a somewhat nicer resort.
The amazingly friendly Reservations cast member suggested the Royal Guest Rooms at Disney's Port Orleans-Riverside. Which are Princess themed rooms. Which sound perfect. So I booked it along with the Deluxe Dining Plan so I don't have to worry about meals. As well as Photopass Plus.
Before dinner, we also have reservations at Bibidi Bobbidi Boutique for a princess makeover.
I'm still finalizing some plans. But I think its all coming together well!
So give me your Disney tips!!!
***I forgot to add. Sami knows NOTHING AT ALL about this. So if you know her, don't say anything!!!! And help me come up with ideas to surprise her with!****
It's Saturday, so I'm linking up with Joanna again at ModaMama for Dressember link up.
This week was challenging. It is definitely getting into the groove of thinking things through.
"Do these tights go with this?" "Will anyone notice if I wear identical leggings?" "Why do I have 4 pairs of brown leggings????" "Why are all of my tights gray? Was I high when I bought 4 pairs of gray tights from Ann Taylor Loft??"
I ended up wrapping a silver sequin belt around my waist over the cardigan and tossed on a silver satin trench coat.
It was a windy day and the skirt was awfully short. Also, I have no idea what my boobs are doing.
Tuesday:
Dress: Charlotte Russe // Boots: ShoeDazzle
I really didn't care this day. It was a long day at work and I spent most of the day working. And obviously one of the downfalls of being petite is that arm holes for everything are meant for proportionate people.
Wednesday:
Dress: Charlotte Russe (of course) // Cami: The Buckle // Tights: Target
This is one of the more daring outfits I tried. This dress is older so the silhouette is slightly outdated. I'm also not well versed in brightly colored tights. These were a pretty bright mustard. It worked. Definitely different though!
Thursday:
Dress: American Eagle (Shocked? I was too) // Cami: American Eagle // Tights: Target //
Flats: No idea
I was pleasantly surprised with how this one turned out. The dress I bought in the spring and didn't think it would hold up well in the South Dakota winter, but it didn't do too bad. I love the ribbon ties on the sides instead of back and it was super comfortable. It took several times to find the right pair of shoes. I tried some slouch boots but the dress was too long. I tried some sweater knit flats and it looked weird and finally fished these out from the bottom of my closet. They're made of some sort of silk and are pretty comfortable.
Friday
Dress: Charlotte Russe (For I apparently single handedly keep them in business it seems!) // Cami: The Buckle // Lace Blouse: Vanity // Boots: no idea I've had them since I was 19, a Christmas gift from an ex.
I think this was my favorite of the week. The dress is about a size too big so it felt like I wasn't wearing a huge tee. The skirt is very twirly and it's surprisingly warm. And made me feel skinny.
That was MY Dressember week!!! How was yours??? Which is your favorite so far?
