Lying to my husband

So for the final 5 weeks of Ducky's deployment I lied to him.

About something big. 65 pounds big.

You see, I'm not a big dog person. Especially a big BIG dog person. Ducky has wanted a dog for years (Since he enlisted in 2003). I haven't. When we moved into base housing in January and had a fenced in yard he had talked about getting a dog. I talked him out of it because well....dogs are big. Dogs are expensive and our neighbors recently had to pay $600 to pay for damages to just their kitchen floor from damage from their dogs. Not to mention the damage they have to pay for the deck and other damages. Plus vet bills and food, and the fact we live in South Dakota and dogs freeze in the winter up here. And I don't know how to defrost Doggy-sicles.  Plus our yard is really small since we live in the old falling apart base housing.

So we decided. No dog. And got a cat instead. Then Ducky deployed in January.

In May, I went to lunch with a neighbor who suggested we stop by the Humane Society as they were having an Adopt-a-thon that weekend and it would be fun to check out the pets.

So I go, not even thinking about getting a new pet.

And there in a kennel, just sitting on her haunches this gorgeous yellow lab.

She doesn't bark. She doesn't jump up like the other dogs. Sami and the neighbor's girl run up to the kennel and the dog doesn't nip at them or jump she just licks at their hands and sits quietly as they stick their hands in at her....

So we take her to the adoption room and play with her for a bit. She doesn't jump, she doesn't bark. She is gentle with the kids. Very quiet. Very careful...she's perfect.

One problem...a couple weeks before, Ducky had said something about wanting to get another cat. So the day before while at a garage sale, I had found a cat named Chanel.

The woman was wanting to get a new puppy but couldn't until she got rid of her cat. I had told her that I'd take her cat. But she wasn't ready to give her up that day. She was going to bring her the next morning, but her children were having a hard time saying Goodbye. I had left for lunch to give them even more time to say good bye.

There is a 2 pet limit on base....

So as the Humane Society was going to be closed for the next two days, I left without the dog.

Get home and see Ducky online and casually mention to him about how much I hate dogs and yadda yadda yadda and how I had seen a lab that day that didn't seem too horrible and flea bitten

He says he's always wanted a lab....

15 minutes later Chanel's owner calls and says they need more time to say Goodbye so I tell them that I don't think its going to work out and that I'm going to surprise Ducky with a dog and ask her if I can use her cat in my plan anyway...and I tell her my plan. She thinks its great...

So 2 days later, I arrive bright and early at the Humane Society after making some very odd bank transfers from our joint account to my personal account to hide the transactions. Fill out the paperwork, and adopt a huge 2 year old yellow lab named Zayta Lynn. She isn't spayed so I schedule that and can't bring her home until she is spayed and microchipped.

So then I take my horribly uneducated self to PetSmart and call up an old friend and talked to him at great length and got some advice from him (Who laughed when I told him I adopted a large dog)  I bought all of the things that I thought I would need bringing home my first ever dog (Ive never owned a dog before...ever. My parents had dogs every now and then...but yeah. I never did)

And a few days later I brought home this:

For the next 5 weeks, I had to avoid the webcam. Deny calls from Qatar. Transfer oddly high amounts to cover vet bills and higher than usual pet expenses. Steal cat photos from someone's photobucket. Make up stories about a phantom cat...and watch what I said in emails, and to people and on FB in case I slipped and said something about the dog.

I scheduled us for obedience lessons...and told Ducky that I had scheduled us for a Marriage therapy seminar. His response "Well that will be good for us!"

I told him a week before he came home that if he really wanted a dog, I would let him have either a Chinese Crested or a Basenji....... and that I found a Chinese Crested in the paper for $100 but that it had a small skin problem...he said he would pass on the dog until we retired if those were his options...I don't know why.

The day he came home from deployment, I greeted him with a tiny rawhide bone tied in a large Red ribbon. He assumed it was for the cat. When we pulled up to the house and he was getting Sami out of her carseat, I opened the front door up, called Zayta out and she went bounding up to him and covered him in kisses.

I think he's in love...

Actually...I am too


  1. I only hope that you come up with a lie as good next time he deploys so we'll have another drama to follow. :)

    (Oh, and I like your layout better than mine!)

  2. Aww I was just thinking how I prefer yours!


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