Christina Holmes

Homemade Uncrustables for the Unskilled

I stalk blogs. Especially if you talk about it and I know you. I enjoy reading about what people feel the need to write about. Sometimes its dull. (Taco Bell for dinner again?!?) Sometimes its heart-wrenching, and sometimes it makes me wish I had talents such as those I see so many of my finds possess.


So recently, I began to stalk BranTypical. I know the author from a support forum geared towards military significant others she began and that I joined a few years ago. While we never became extremely close, I began to feel quite the sense of respect for her as she had created what was once an amazing support site, she was a beautiful, talented and loving mother to eventually 4 beautiful children and she was a strong role model for other military wives. Many of her posts regarding food leave me thinking "Yep, I wish I had talent to make food like that!" I tried to make her wraps once...and failed miserably. I am that bad in the kitchen.


The other day she posted a blog about Uncrustables.


Now, I've seen these things in the freezer section for a long time and thought it was a genius idea. (Although the miser in me couldn't quite convince myself to buy them)


Her post included a step by step tutorial on how to make your own Uncrustables. I thought to myself that there was no way I could do that because I lack the skills needed. (I tell you, my kitchen skills are majorly lacking)


So I decided that with Ducky deployed. I might as well try them and that way he can't see the evidence of my horrific failure and use that to tease me mercilessly about that time I failed at making a PB & J. Not only failed at it, but mangled it beyond human recognition. Yeah, I wanted to avoid that at all costs. Because despite that he does it lovingly and oft times raves about my cooking. I don't know if its truly as good as he claims.






So here is my attempt at the Uncrustable 


*Cue Rocky music*

Voila! Our cast of characters in tonight's possible debacle.
You'll need a jam or spread or jelly of your choice.
A peanut butter of your choice. (I use creamy for Sami)
Bread. (Usually a good addition as trying to make this on palm fronds did not turn out to be an enjoyable experience)


A glass or some sort. (You could even get all fancy like and use that cool Press and Seal contraption from that new fangled Pampered Chef)


A vehicle to transport  your ingredients. I used a spoon.

*"Why a spoon cousin?" 
"Because its dull you twit! It will hurt more"*

Also baggies if you plan on  freezing them. If you plan on eating them right away...more power to you! And you can use the glass to hold your milk...just be sure to clean it off first...unless you're into sticky glassware and if that's the case I don't judge. What ever floats your boat, rings your bell all that jazz.

Next, spread out peanut butter in the center of one piece of bread. And jam in the center of your second piece of bread. Less is more. It might take a few tries to figure out how much you need. But just see this as an excuse to play in peanut butter.

See the virgin jam jar? So clean, smooth and pristine. I shall soon violate it.

Circles!

Next, press the two pieces of bread together so that they line up well. Like a sandwich  *gasp*

Just in case you aren't quite sure what a sandwich looks like. . .(You never know, some people lead very sheltered lives...)

This is a sandwich. See the sandwichness of it? Ever wonder why its called a sandwich? Of COURSE you have!! Make with the Clicky .

I like to add a bit of a history lesson in to your day. 

So, now you have a PB & J. Amazing!!! And the peasants rejoiced. 

Now to make the Crustable-Uncrustable.

Press your glass firmly but gently into the sandwich. Try to avoid the crusts or else your Uncrustable isn't very uncrustable. You can press all the way through if you are careful without tearing the sandwich. After you've pushed it through, gently tear away any remaining crusts.

Some people toss their crusts out. I don't. Seeing as how they usually won't have any peanut butter or jelly, I will save mine to feed to the ducks and geese at the park

.Because who wants to make the goose cry?

No bread makes me a Sad Goose. Why must you make me Sad Goose?
Please. Think of the Goose.

So anyway, by now you should have some sort of hockey puck shaped sandwich. 

You can press the edges of your Uncrustable with a fork to seal it a bit more. But I use just the glass and they seal pretty well. But it could just be that I am THAT good.

Now, stick these suckers on a cookie sheet in the freezer for about an hour. Then drop them into individual baggies and re-freeze them. 

You'll still need to pull them out for about an hour before eating them to let them thaw. But if you have school age kiddos, you could make a variety batch of these on Sunday, and then freeze them for the week. Just drop one of the individual bags in their lunch boxes and by the time they go to lunch, it will be defrosted.

You can check out my inspiration at Bran Typical. She has an even better explanation of how to make these.

Minus the goose.