PWC: Pico de Gallo

Im such a slacker. I know. I partially blame Blogger because for some reason, its being bratty about uploading photos. And I'm way too lazy to go an alternate route.

on to the blog!

Pioneer Woman Cooks Cookbook Challenge Recipe...who knows 3?

Pico de Gallo


I'm so not a fan of pico de gallo.  I don't like onions at all. I don't like jalepenos either. I like tomatoes...

But it was in the book, and Nate has been pestering me for it for a bit. Since I love my husband, I decided to make it today while he was at DEPTAC (Deployment training for his upcoming deployment)

Guess what is in pico de gallo?

Wow! Who da thunk.

Onion, tomato, cilantro, jalepeno, and lime. Amazing

Have I ever mentioned I can't cook? Well, this also extends to making stuff that involves no cooking.

Oh! Remember that thing I said about jalepenos and gloves a couple posts ago? Totally forgot about that.

I suck at dicing apparently. Like....horribly. I made a huge mess instead. My dices were more like mangled chunks of messy, messy doom.

Apparently the key to amazing pico is making sure its equal parts tomato, onion and cilantro. 

Suuuuure. That is only if you can dice properly.

About the time I started cutting the onions, I realized I had a small cut on my finger. burns.

So I washed my hands and decided that was totally enough and the tomatoes wouldn't hurt at all!


OMG It hurt. Sooo freakin' much.  

But since I'm an idiot I didn't even think to cover it. Because that would totally make sense.

On to the cilantro.

So pretty! And it smells AMAZING!

OMFG How the freakin hell do you dice cilantro!??!?!!? Its all over the place. It sticks to the knife and its already small. WTF? I mean, really??? 

Do you dice the stems??? Do people eat the stems? Why does Google laugh at me when I ask if you are suppose to eat cilantro stems?

Fuck you Cilantro. I hate you

Oh look! Its our friend Jose Jalepeno!

Where is your stick Jose?

Screw you. You called me Jose I will make your life miserable.

Remember those gloves? Yeah....I forgot.

Remember that cut on my finger? 

Not going to forget it now!!! Because jalepeno oil is soo soothing to a cut.

Just don't touch your face.

Oh my fucking god why did you touch your face?!? WHY?

My lips are now on fire. As is my nose. 


Ahhh much better!

This dish has caused me more pain and tears than anything.

Now time to mix it!

We're waiting for you, Christina....We know your weakness. 
Resistance is Futile.


Oh my dear God, please let it be over. Please let it be over. I promise never to touch them again. Please just make the pain disappear. 



Hi, I smell really good. But I am about to fuck you up.

Ahhhh! The smell of lime is amazing. MMMM So clean and summer-ish! Ohhhh Now its mixing with the cilantro scent and it is Heavenly! 

Scentsy should totally make a Cilantro Lime bar. I would buy it .Do they make one? If any of my readers are Scentsy Consultants, let me know if they do and leave a link to your site and I will totally buy some from you on Friday. I love the smell of lime! I shall use the entire lime and squeeze every drop out of it I possibly can.

OH HEAVENS ABOVE Why the fuck did I do that?!?!?!?! SWEET BABY JEEBUS it huuuurts. It hurts so much. I'm going to cry into my pico. 

Its done, right??? RIGHT?

Oh! it needs to be salted. SO close to being done, YAY!!!!!!!!!

oh hell. Oh hell.

SALT?!?!?! Why didn't you just run an entire lemon and jalepeno into that cut, huh!?!?

Oh Hai Chips. 
You won't hurt me. I trust you

This was the bag after several minutes trying to open it.
(Notice the scissor dude? Yeah, suppose to cut it open. But obviously, I like to make things difficult)

According to Sami's school, this proves I am far behind on my motor skills. 
Because I can't cut a straight line. I suck.

Ohh there ARE chips inside.

Put a fork in me I'm done.

Never, ever again. 

Shortly after I finished. I totally rubbed my face and neck with my hands.

Which still had the damn jalepeno oils on them. 



  1. You poor dear... a food processor would have made this much easier.

  2. I'm with you - onions and jalapenos are made of suck. You probably did much better than I would do with this recipe.

  3. I can wear gloves and still manage to wipe my eyes or face. lol

  4. I can not remember when I laughed as hard as I did reading this. Honey you really should be writing for some magazine!!! I have come to see that you really are quite talented!! Love you


Your comments make my day!